Math

Me: "If I have two bears, and I want to draw the SAME number of flowers, how many flowers do I have to draw?"

Most students: "TWO!"

Me: "Yes!  Would it be OK for me to draw THREE flowers?"

Most students: "NO!"

Me: "Why not?"

One student: "Because it's the weekend!"

*Note*: Today is Wednesday.

Water Snakes

Student: "Teacher, do you know about water snakes?"

Me: "Tell me about them."

Student: "Well, they are snakes in the water and they eat the other fish and the little pieces of bread under the water and then the other guy is there with the thing, and then those guys go down like this (makes motion) to the thing like that."

Me: "Oh...great!"

The Informant

Student: "Teacher Robin!  While the middle group was taking their turn *Johnny was just DILLY-DALLYING around!"

Me: "What is dilly-dallying?"

Student: "It's when you go: (makes strange noises and facial contortions)."

Excuses

In my class my students have to bring a particular red folder every day.  Today one girl was unable to bring her real red folder, but she provided a substitute with a thoughtful note:

Mysteries

In Spanish you have to put a question mark at the beginning and at the end of a question.  I wrote the sentence ¿Es un elefante? on the board and one of my students said,

"Oh!  There are two mysteries there!  Why are there TWO mysteries?"

It took me a minute to figure out that he calls question marks "mysteries".

Some Lady

I teach Spanish to another Kindergarten class for 30 minutes each day.  Today I was speaking to one of the little boys in that class in the pick up line.

3rd Grader: (To the Kindergarten student) "Is that your teacher?"
Student: "No, that's just some lady that talks to me sometimes."

Spider-Man

When the kids go through the school lunch line they have to collect their food and tell the lunch lady their first name before they leave.  This is what happened:

Lunch Lady: "What is your name?"
Student: "Spider-Man."
Lunch Lady: looks at me in confusion
Me: "His name is Johnny."
Student: "NO!  My name is not the Johnny name!  My name is the Spider-Man name!"
Me: "Well, if you want your lunch you are going to have to use the 'Johnny name.'  You can be Spider-Man outside."
Student: "OK..."
Lunch Lady: "OK, let's try again.  What is your name?"
Student: "Do you know my baby brother?"

*No one in my class is named Johnny.  It's just a generic name I use to keep them anonymous. 

Scary

Student: "Mrs. Teacher Robin, I saw the Scary One."
Me: "What is the Scary One?"
Student: "It is the one with the Batman bad guys."

Bowling

Student: "Mrs. Robin!  My grandpa was bowling ball!"
Me: "Umm...can you tell me more about that?"
Student: "He was bowling...ball.  Bowling...b...wait, what is that word?"
Me: "I'm not sure."
Student: "He...well, he...he spoke lots a languages!!!"
Me: "Oh!  He was BILINGUAL!"

Orphan

Me: "Your job is to draw a picture of yourself. JUST yourself.  Don't add pictures of your dog, or your family in this project.  You can draw them another time.  Here is my picture.  Would it be OK if I drew my mom?"
Student: "NO!"
Me: "Why not?"
Student: "Because you don't have a mom!"

Turtle in a Half Shell

Student: "I don't know where my lunch box is."
Me: "Did you put it in our black bucket after lunch?"
Student: "No, I put it in a green bucket because I like green and Ninja Turtles."
Me: "Well, our bucket is the black bucket. So if you want to have your lunch box at the end of the day you need to put it in the black bucket.
Student: "But I like Ninja Turtles."

Hydration

Student: "We start work tomorrow?"
Me: "Yes, the first day of school is tomorrow."
Student: "And that is why I drink" (Takes giant swig of water bottle)